The TCK Journey: A Parent Perspective

In this article, Viviane Imhof-Braun, a globally mobile career transition and leadership coach and mum of three Third Culture Kids (TCK), is interviewed by Natasha Winnard, an international youth empowerment consultant and parent of a globally mobile teenager.

Describe your TCK context

I'm Viviane and I'm the mother of three Third Culture Kids, who are 13, 11, and 8 years old. We've been "on the road for eight years now," at our fourth international school, in our third country, on our third continent.

I'm German-Canadian by birth, and have additionally lived and studied in France. My children were all born in Munich, Germany. Our journey began in 2017 when we received the call that our South African adventure would start that August. At the time, our children were 1, 4, and 6 years old. When we told friends and family about our move to Johannesburg with three small children, many thought we were completely insane because of concerns about crime.

Within three weeks of arriving, our children started at a local South African school without knowing a word of English. What helped with the transition was the warm-heartedness of the staff and other children being welcoming, kind, and curious. This was never our "Plan A" – I had initially imagined continuing my marketing career abroad and sending the kids to the German school. None of that happened! But looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.

We stayed in South Africa throughout COVID and its challenges. In 2021, we repatriated to Germany, to a different place outside of Munich, and the children attended an international school. Since they were German, most people thought it would be easy for our kids as they just "came home." Grief was not really a topic I or their teachers were familiar with.

After only two years, we moved to Dubai. The children were not keen, since they had made new friends and were happy with their lives in Germany. They had readjusted, and here we came and tore them out again. In Dubai, we arrived three weeks into the school year when all “welcome” activities had already ended.

Our children speak German and English fluently but have been exposed to Zulu, Afrikaans, Spanish, French, and Arabic. They have multiple "homes" – South Africa remains in their hearts, while Germany is their passport country, and Dubai is now growing on us.

What four things do you want all international educators to know about raising globally mobile children?

1. The distinction between "fitting in" and "belonging" is crucial.

When teachers tell me after a couple of weeks at a new school that our children just blend in as if they've always been part of the crowd, I sometimes hear very different stories at home. Yes, they like the new school, and they make it all work by adapting their behavior to what is expected. But they still miss their former school community terribly – their friends, teachers, sports. They don't belong 100% (yet).

As Brené Brown says, "Fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are."

Especially challenging was moving from a values-driven environment like our South African school to environments that felt less grounded in explicit values. Children notice these differences even when they can't articulate them clearly.

2. Transitions involve significant grief that needs acknowledgment.

When our family repatriated to Germany after four incredible years in Johannesburg, coping with that loss was far harder than any of us had ever imagined. I realized that the best way to let go was simply to grieve—to allow all sorts of emotions to be with us.

Each child processes grief differently. One of my children "forgets" as easily as possible about friends to make space for new connections—but is grieving inside. This coping mechanism isn't always recognized by educators who might see only smooth adaptation.

My beautiful friend Melissa shared these words with me, "Africa does sneak into the depths of your very soul. Always know she will never leave you, once her music drums in your heart. The beat echoes forever."

3. Children are incredibly resilient, but need support for their emotional wellbeing during transitions.

Our children had to start from scratch in South Africa, in Germany and in Dubai: new house, neighborhood, school, friends. Yet they adapted and thrived. However, this resilience doesn't mean they don't need support. They needed us to be present, to listen, to validate their feelings, and to create a safe space for processing complex emotions.

We as parents decided to lead a globally mobile family life. So, it's our responsibility to manage, support, and guide ourselves and our children through each transition as best as we can. Schools share this responsibility for the children in their care. It’s a never ending learning journey that I learned to embrace. And it’s never going to be a perfect one. But we need to try as best as we can. 

4. Global mobility shapes identity in profound ways that require intentional nurturing.

For globally mobile children, the question "Where are you from?" becomes increasingly complex. My children struggle with their identity in relation to their passport country. For them, Germany feels far away. It's the only national anthem they have never sung at school. They know the South African anthem. They know the United Arab Emirates (UAE) anthem. And while they enjoy spending summer holidays in Germany, they are happy to go back "home"—though for us, home is now multiple places, not just one.

Their identity is not tied to a single place but formed through relationships and experiences across multiple cultures.

As international school educators, we are always striving to improve our transition care for our globally mobile families. From your experience, what do schools do well?

It's the simple things that make the biggest difference. In the best schools, the staff knows my children's names and uses them consistently. They know their extracurricular activities, integrate them in the sports teams as quickly as possible, recognize their siblings, and understand their background story. They interact with children on eye level, making them feel seen and heard.

Some schools excel at creating genuine communities of belonging. When we arrived in South Africa, our children's school had a culture of warmth that welcomed us immediately. This personal connection made all the difference in helping children who didn't speak the language feel at home.

I particularly appreciated educators who were whole-heartedly “teaming up" with us in raising our three kids – that I could have open conversations with, and share my thoughts and worries – and the counseling department who were aware that transition is not just an event but a process. Counselors who checked in with our children weeks and months after the initial move demonstrated a deeper understanding of the ongoing challenges of mobility. 

Our international schools offered specific resources for mobile families, like regular parent coffee mornings and specific sessions about the expatriate cycle. These structured opportunities for connection have helped us feel more integrated into the school community. Our local school in South Africa didn’t have those specific resources for the globally mobile community, but they welcomed us into their colourful local culture and school community with open arms. Belonging was not just a theoretical concept. 

From your experience, how can schools improve their transition-care?

At the heart of transition-care is belonging. Schools need to create a holistic culture of belonging that encompasses students, staff, and parents. This means going beyond surface-level welcome and goodbye activities to fostering an environment where everyone's unique story is valued and incorporated into the community fabric.

Schools can improve transition care by taking the time to understand each child's background story. One-on-one meetings with parents to learn about the whole family would provide valuable context for supporting children effectively. Too often, schools don't fully onboard families in advance or provide closure when they leave. Students and their families don’t just want to be a “number.” Taking the time to build these relationships will improve belonging, trust, academic journeys, and retention rates. 

Repatriation deserves special attention. When we returned to Germany, the assumption was that we were simply "coming home," so the transition should be easy. In reality, our children had changed profoundly through their experiences, and Germany no longer felt entirely like home. Something as simple as a coffee morning focused on repatriation would have helped us feel seen and acknowledged in our struggle to readjust. Most parents are not aware of the “emotional tsunamis” involved when moving across cultures.

Many schools could better support parents who are also navigating their own transitions. And if there are no staff resources for this, tap into the parent community. There is so much untapped potential, especially among the crowd of accompanying partners. In Germany for example, even though I was back in my marketing role, I offered career transition workshops called “How to reinvent yourself when living abroad” to our parent community. I also assisted with the primary swim team. Someone else offered Indian cooking classes, another had cultural outings. Having the opportunity to get involved in the school community with your unique talents and strengths is a win-win for everyone. 

And in the end, actions speak louder than words. It is important to build awareness around transition-care but then it also has to be lived – everyday. It’s a whole school and all staff approach which, in my opinion, needs to be deeply rooted in the school values. 

What unexpected strengths have you observed in your children that you attribute to their TCK experience?

I've observed extraordinary adaptability in my children. When faced with starting school without speaking English, they developed creative communication strategies—using gestures, facial expressions, and shared activities to build connections before language skills caught up. This adaptability has transferred to other contexts; they approach new situations with confidence, knowing they've successfully navigated significant challenges before.

Their cultural intelligence has developed far beyond their years. They instinctively adjust their behavior to match different cultural contexts—switching communication styles, greetings, or social expectations depending on who they're with. They show a nuanced understanding that there are multiple "right ways" to approach situations.

Perhaps most striking is their empathy toward newcomers. Having experienced the vulnerability of being new multiple times, they're quick to include others, sensitive to signs that someone might feel isolated, and proactive in building bridges. 

My children have also developed a remarkable perspective on privilege and inequality. Living in Johannesburg exposed them to extreme disparities of wealth and opportunity. They've gained a nuanced understanding of complex social issues, and this has fostered a deep commitment to fairness.

Looking back, what would you tell yourself when you were just beginning your family's international journey?

I would echo what I've learned, "I'm truly grateful that their fears never became greater than our curiosity." Maintaining this balance between acknowledging legitimate concerns and embracing adventure has been crucial to our family's growth.

And one more thing; as the “accompanying partner” that I was, leaving my own career behind, don’t forget about your own journey in this whole setup. It’s important that the family is well, but you need to be fine, too. It doesn’t matter if you want to be there 100% for your family or if you want to dive into the local culture and learn the language or if you plan a career transition: embrace it, but do it intentionally. If you are not content with how you spend your time, it will have a huge impact on your own wellbeing and your family’s as well.

A very sincere thank you to Viviane for sharing her experiences with us. We often underestimate the full extent of the challenges globally mobile children and their families face. We all have so much more to learn together, home and school, to ensure that our children, and the children in our care, are healthy, happy, and can thrive. 

Read more about the TCK Journey: How a Global Childhood Shapes Teaching and Learning and A Parent and Educator's Perspective.