As a Black American Counselor living and working in the Middle East, I have become overwhelmed with the images that I see on American television. I am expected to explain and conjure order to those around me when I don't understand the chaotic visions myself.
As an educator, I pull from a deep reserve to soothe my students' shattered emotions and try to restore their perceptions of the hate being displayed in my country. On the back of a worldwide pandemic that diminishes my chances to see my family this year and from the emotional roller coaster of witnessing an "apparent" act that cost a man—a father, a human being—his life, this black woman, this wife, this mother, this school counselor is deeply saddened.
Sad because of hate. Sad because of seeing the death and destruction of communities and the livelihood of many. Sad because I can't do much to make anything right.
I can and will eventually draw on my faith and pray for peace. I will eventually look to my friends and family to embrace me in love. I will eventually rely on my professional training in counseling that equips me with a plethora of coping skills to help me maintain. However, before I can heal others, I have to heal myself. My cup is full and my well is empty.
Edwina Leonard is a school counselor at English Modern School Al Khor in Doha, Qatar. She is also a family coach at Infinity Family Coaching.
