Transforming Conversations With the SCARF Model

Since my last article, the global news has only reinforced how polarized and uncertain our world has become. We are clearly living in a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world, and now, even BANI (Brittle, Anxious, Nonlinear, Incomprehensible) offers another lens for understanding today’s challenges. Regardless of the acronym, the goal remains the same: to stay grounded and present. These articles aim to offer timely, practical strategies to help us remain thoughtful, capable, and steady amid constant change.

In a world filled with political, organizational, and personal pressures, we must avoid adding unnecessary psychological or social strain. Context matters. What works in one region may not work in another. As always, contextual awareness needs to inform how the concepts and frameworks mentioned in these articles could be used successfully. By developing adaptable frameworks and having more intentional conversations, we can lead in more humane and growth-oriented ways.

Through this article series, we’ve taken the steps to acknowledge the complexity leaders face and explore how we can stay grounded and model emotionally intelligent leadership, encourage leaders to cultivate curiosity over defensiveness in order to foster deeper understanding and reduce polarization, and recognize that many of the problems in front of us cannot be solved, only managed. Now, we’ll take the next step to explore a framework to help us understand how we can work on our communication within five domains of the human social experience that will support our ability to be influential and understood in collaborative settings and in our discussions around polarizing topics.

I have a cognitive crush on Dr. David Rock. Rock is a neurophysiologist, author, and CEO/co-founder of the Neuroleadership Institute. His organization facilitates webinars, runs conferences and events, and shares articles about how humans can understand our brains in order to communicate even more effectively with others. Rock is author of Your Brain at Work  and has written extensively about how the brain considers every interaction to be either threatening or safe. Although we aren't being chased by a lion or a tiger in our social interactions, our most primal parts in our brain are still seeking out safety or threat.  We won't be eaten by a lion in our staff meetings, nor killed by an alligator during our parent teacher conferences, but the brain scans the room just the same. And at this point, our communications, not our incisors, can bring “threat” to a conversation.  

In his work, Rock identifies five key ways humans can feel socially threatened: by feeling judged, diminished, attacked, or excluded. These threats often surface during discussions on polarizing topics, such as assessments, curriculum, inclusion, or host country standards. To explain these dynamics, Rock developed the SCARF model, an acronym representing five social domains that influence human behavior: Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness.

Learning about the SCARF model and its parts can help you recognize when you are feeling stung by specific conversations and assist you in thinking more carefully about how you respond and communicate with others. With this model, Rock has looked at his work with a global lens and has stated that all human beings, no matter what age or country of origin, seek dignity and acknowledgement, some form of certainty and control, and a feeling of belonging. Everyone has all five of these motivations. Some people are more concerned about these needs and may respond more strongly when they feel threatened. However, no one is wrong or overly sensitive for being motivated by them. When one of the five drivers is missing, ignored, or disrespected, a person may feel diminished, discounted, or (at the extreme) unsafe.

Rock’s five motivators are described in the chart below. Some may be more important to people generally, while others become more prominent in specific situations. Understanding the SCARF model can help you navigate interactions more thoughtfully, especially during disagreements or when discussing polarizing topics. It can also help you avoid unintentionally “verbally paper cutting” someone and triggering unnecessary defensiveness.

Source: Stretching Your Learning Edges: Growing (Up) at Work, Miravia, 2021

A Scenerio

Let's think about a polarizing topic like grading or assessment, and how the SCARF model might be taken into consideration so one is more aware prior to the discussions taking place.

Consider:

• STATUS (being of value): Might those in the conversation feel their experience or judgement is being questioned or challenged if new ways of assessing are considered?  Use wording that respects professional expertise. 
• CERTAINTY (having clarity as to next steps): Might those who would need to change worry about disruption and too much ambiguity? Use wording that gives as much clarity as possible about next steps to reduce anxiety. 
• AUTONOMY (voice and choice): Might those who need to change worry about being imposed upon or micromanaged?  Use wording that, if possible, allows for professional discretion. 
• RELATEDNESS (connection and belonging): Might those who need to change worry about an "us vs them" situation?  Use wording that emphasizes shared goals and communal action. 
• FAIRNESS (same procedures): Might those who need to change worry about how one group is favored. Use wording that emphasizes everyone being represented in the next steps and provides consistency for all. 

People show up in challenging moments and polarizing discussions with the limbic system in their brain on full alert.  Adding any verbal “papercuts” to the situation just puts salt in the wound.  Looking at your language and thinking about the SCARF model and then communicating with others with that awareness will help them feel valued, clear, in control, less isolated, and acknowledged.  

Take the SCARF assessment to discover a better understanding of your relative sensitivity towards different types of social drivers. Once you are done ask yourself: 

• What new insights do you have about yourself, and how might they help you in your interactions?

• Does completing this assessment make you more conscious of others’ needs, motivations, and concerns? What might you learn as a team by discussing this assessment?

• In what ways might the SCARF model help you be more mindful as you work with others?

In polarizing times, the need to be self-aware, other aware, and to be able to see a both-and perspective will be a more useful and psychologically healthier choice for all involved.

Read the introduction to Navigating in Polarizing Times, the importance of Suspending Certainty, the skill of Managing Polarities, and Listen Now to hear more from Jennifer Abrams on the Voice of TIE Podcast.