Suspending Certainty

TIE has partnered with Jennifer Abrams to offer this timely and thoughtful series, supporting international educators with resources and reflections for leading and communicating effectively in today’s complex and polarized world.


No one needs to tell school leaders that both the world outside our school and the world within are currently full of incredible uncertainty and change. The micro mirrors the macro. It is apparent in every interaction and news article. Comics on our TV screens are trying to keep us smiling. Many a book is written about how to manage in times of Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, and Ambiguity (VUCA). The dysregulation we experience from our colleagues and families (and ourselves!) shows us we are managing a lot. The goal of this articles series is to provide some just in time, quick to implement strategies and supports to keep ourselves as steady and as grounded as we can in the moment.

It is true that we need to model civil discourse and encourage long-term thinking about big challenges, and while valuable, that work takes many years to take seed and flourish. Meanwhile, we need “just in time” tools, skills, and support.  How might we behave in the “here and now” to be our best selves; to model what it means to be emotionally self-regulated, mature, respectful educators and leaders?

The main question posed in Navigating in Polarizing Times is:

• What can an international school leader do now, conversation by conversation, right here, in the moment, to lead by example in the midst of uncertainty?

This second article in the series is about the skill adults need to develop around suspending certainty, the understanding that our way is not “the” only way but “a” way.  How do we respond (internally and externally) with more curiosity than defensiveness when confronted with an opinion or suggestion which takes us by surprise? How can we suspend our certainty that we have the right answer in those moments and how can we continue to engage with the other person in a respectful manner?

To suspend certainty is not to abandon certainty forever. I am not suggesting, for example, that you not be certain to stop at stop lights. There are moments when certainty is essential (like child safeguarding).  And there is many a moment during polarizing conversations where a “grey” area is possible, where we might come to a middle ground. We need to be able to build our inner muscle to suspend our certainty to engage in those moments, in those interactions.

Many a leader has found that the skill of suspending certainty is incredibly challenging to acquire, develop, and sustain. "I was hired to lead and leading, to me, means to have an opinion, to make a decision, and to guide the school with authority."  The idea of “to be certain is to lead” is a mindset many leaders have, informed by upbringing, country of origin, host country expectations, and more. While it's an understandable stance to take, it is often not helpful in moments of disagreement as it might result in increased defensiveness and elevated conflict, the opposite of what we are hoping to accomplish.

To suspend certainty doesn't mean to dismiss out of hand one's school mission, vision, or values.  Suspending certainty is a skill set, a set of strategies that can allow us to seek more information, give others a chance to share their perspective in a space of our respectful attention. Suspending certainty allows one to increase understanding, grow awareness of blind spots, and allow for a bigger picture of the issue. Suspending certainty requires that you hold your opinion lightly for a moment, even when you have a strong opinion. To move past reaction and move to response. To grow mental muscles to view perspectives from more than one angle; to prod and push against those perspectives to determine whether they are solid and have merit.

Some of us are accustomed to others pushing and poking our assertions and having our information scrutinized (scientists, doctors on rounds, a team of attorneys arguing a case). In these instances, we are asked to verbalize and explain our ideas, which are then examined to improve outcomes. The the information we offer is separate from our identity. Many people, though, have enmeshed their identity with their ideas. In education, we believe deeply in our work and hold onto our beliefs strongly. This can lead to fusing our ideas with our identities, which creates challenges. It becomes difficult to separate who we are from how our ideas are received. As a result, we may become defensive when we feel that our ideas being questioned means who we are and what we know is being questioned.

To better suspend certainty one might do the following:

• Ask often, “What am I missing?” or "How do you see it?" or "What might I do next to broaden my view?" and truly listen to what is said.
• When offered feedback respond with, “I am surprised and intrigued. Say more.” Then truly manage your facial expression, watch your body language, and listen. Be open to agreeing to a piece of what the other person is saying. Someone once told me, "Everyone is at least 10% right."
• When offered a point of view say, “I appreciate that you shared that. That was tough to hear and was important to share" or "Thanks for stretching me to consider another point of view."
• In a group conversation, if you are an extrovert and/or if you have positional power, try to speak last. Tell the group, "I am working on suspending my certainty. I want to listen to everyone's input to make sure everyone’s perspectives inform mine."
• When it is your turn to share your point of view, be careful with language like, "Here's what I think," which could imply that you were not listening, but just waiting to talk. Truly pay attention. Build on their perspectives. Use their language. Share your point of view in context with their point of view. Remember you have “a” point of view, not “the” point of view.
• If you are the decision maker with positional authority and you need to share your perspective, do it in a way that shows respect for another's perspective and doesn't dismiss them outright. You might say, "I appreciate the thought you’ve put into this—your perspective highlights some important considerations. From where I sit, looking at the broader context for the school, I see things a bit differently. Here’s what I am thinking…"

None of this is easy.  It requires self-regulation and a calm inner space which is not always something one has at the ready.  And, in this moment of polarization, the need to self-manage and self-monitor becomes even more essential. Our way of seeing things is “a” way, not “the only way” and the skill of suspending certainty and exhibiting intellectual humility is a skill set to model and to embody in these times.


Read the introduction to Navigating in Polarizing Times and Listen Now to hear more from Jennifer Abram's on the Voice of TIE Podcast.