The Value of Compassion

Recently, I was contemplating what my life was like before I became a teacher. After graduating, I worked as a computer programmer in the finance industry, and I hated every minute of it. While this might be a suitable career for some, I would describe my experience as unfulfilling, isolating, and soulless. I was in my mid-20s when I thankfully made the life-changing decision to change my career to teaching.

As a new teacher, I was eager, inspired, and determined to give my students the very best I could. I was motivated to teach effectively, get to know each student personally, and speak positivity into their lives, hoping to make a difference. I think that for most teachers entering the profession, this is a common experience. I believe that teachers are, at heart, pro-socially motivated, and it is this quality that draws them to the profession. Being pro-socially motivated inherently means that relationships matter. For teachers, this is certainly true, as the relationships they develop with their students and colleagues are significant—and matter considerably.

However, being a teacher is hard, and there are stresses that can test these relationships and push us to our limits, sometimes beyond. How do we, as teachers and school leaders, create nurturing environments that cultivate relationships that matter and persist through times of difficulty? I believe that a large part of the answer is choosing to make compassion a core value in our lives and in our schools. Having compassion as a core value means being deliberate in the welfare of others—through asking questions, reading their emotions, understanding their patterns, noticing when something seems “off,” recognizing their struggles and needs, and being prepared to stand by them in times of difficulty. Some people seem to possess this quality naturally; whatever they do, others are drawn to them and feel safe opening up. For many others, including myself, these skills of compassion are a work in progress, and stepping into this compassionate space requires consideration, thought, and courage.

For me, having compassionate conversations with people was, and still can be, a daunting prospect. I feared that I wouldn’t have the right words, advice, or responses to their needs. Additionally, from a leadership perspective, I found that the further I moved up the school hierarchy, the more reluctant I was to dig deeper and ask compassionate questions about how colleagues were doing. My reluctance stemmed from my worry that my care and concern would be interpreted as prying into people’s lives or that they would think there was some ulterior motive behind my “concern.” As I have gained experience, I have decided that seeking compassionate conversations with staff members who are on my mind is the better course of action than avoiding them for fear of misinterpretation. While it might sound obvious, my experience shows that the benefits of showing personal compassion to others far outweigh the risks of saying nothing.

Living compassionately for others often demands compassionate actions. In schools, there are frequently important discussions about remuneration and working conditions, and rightly so. In my tenures as Principal, I have been involved in these negotiations and decisions, which are crucial steps in creating a positive working environment. However, I have found that it is the “small” thoughtful actions that people remember—the note thanking them for a job well done, visiting them when you know they’ve had a rough week, offering words of encouragement in the corridor, checking in after a meeting if something feels “off,” investing time in informal conversations to understand what’s going on in their lives, and going beyond the staff agreement conditions when needed because your humanity dictates that compassion is more important.

As peers in a profession where we seek to make positive change and where relationships matter, let’s choose to make compassion a core value, be willing to have compassionate conversations, and be prepared and courageous to take the actions that compassion demands.